New Pitch Letter

I’m sick of hiding all my various skills and creating a bewildering array of resumes. I am good at many things. Is this a crime? Am I any more ADD than the people I see happily employed where ever I go?

I work on this stuff in my spare time because I’m _capable_. Yet this is seen like some kind of sin. I have stayed at a job for half a decade. I’d be at my current jobs right now if I didn’t cross half the country because for once in my jobs, I was actually happy.

I want to be happy again. I feel that if I am honest about what I want and what I can do, this will happen. If they know who I am this should be good right? Probably not. But that’s the magic of cold calling. Never saying you are sorry.

Pitch letter is below. Note, if you diss this letter, your comment will be deleted UNLESS you tell me precisely what to change and why this will help me get a job. If you do this, then you get a (virtual) cookie and/or hug, your choice. Thank-you for reading this.

BEGIN FANTASTIC PITCH

I am a highly capable worker who can improve productivity in nearly any area, saving money and increasing profits. I learn new fields while I am in a given position because it’s what I like to do. I prefer to stay in a given career for life. However, I will still continue to take classes and to learn because I feel that life long learning is important in a good employee. I believe that the best researchers are able to draw in relevant information from many fields and to synthesize it to create new hypotheses.

I am looking for a corporation to call home for life as I am a loyal employee. I’d be excited to stay in one area for life or to expanding with the company’s needs.

Here are the fields that I have mastered:

1.Chemistry BS
2.Biomedical research. 10 years experience
3.Computer programming. It it’s not COBOL, I know that language. I have software samples that can be downloaded. I have programmed a research instrument from scratch.
4.IT. OS installation. I have maintained research equipment, servers, and I have built web servers from scratch. I am fluent in all major networking protocols. I have given support on the desktop.
5.Writing. It’s my passion. I write daily. I have written manuals, and I have given presentations. I study grammar for fun.
6.Nursing. I have an active RN license. I would like a job that is more creative than the traditional nursing path. I have experience in critical care taking care of two patients. I have done phlebotomy, physical exams, vital signs, and everything else a critical care nurse needs to do.
7.Medial terminology. I have taken all the basic medical sciences. Again, I’d prefer a field that allows me to be more creative than medicine.
8.Administrative assistant. I have worked in an office, and I have excelled.

I have excellent references to attest that the above is true.

I am not looking to use all my skills. I am not looking to make a lot of money. I’d like to work with people who are passionate at their jobs as I am. I strive to be the best at everything that I do, and I am looking for a position that will allow me to focus on one of my strengths and to help create new products that are highly profitable. Despite my various interests, I don’t get bored easily as I practice mindfulness, and I am happy doing whatever is best for the position I have chosen.

END FANTASTIC PITCH

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3 Responses to “New Pitch Letter”

  1. wench Says:

    “It it’s not COBOL,” – do you mean “If it’s not COBOL”?

    Your pitch letter is very aggressive, and reads a little like a rant. Personally, if I’m hiring, I’m not picking someone who sounds very talented but bitter; I’m picking someone who sounds capable and calm.

    • Leroy Glinchy Says:

      Yes, I am a very aggressive person. This is who I am, and I am not changing my personality for money. What kind of system is that, one that grinds down people’s true selves to fit some shitty mold created by people who lack passion and personality.

      No thanks.

      PS. I have a well paying job in in my field of choice. This is a dream job, and I would not change anything.

      I am well liked here for who I am not for some fake pose I put on.

      People who pretend to be calm are easy to spot.

      Fake calm is over-ratted anyway. A truly calm person doesn’t need to try to make things quiet around themselves, they can keep their heads even when things are tense, for example in the middle of a noisy hospital.

      A meek person would not make a good nurse. One size does not fit all.

      You need to be aggressive if you want to get the treatment your patient deserves.

  2. Nonie De Long Says:

    I like this idea. I stumbled on your blog through twitter. I agree with many of your sentiments on work. I am just now at a point where I am refusing to do things I don’t love for money. If I do what I love, which I am a master of, since it is my passion, I expect the universe will find me the money I need. I am seeking like minded people for mutual encouragement.

    In point 3 you have typed it it’s two times consecutively. FYI.

    I believe this attitude will take you to a fabulous career.

    Nonie

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