Archive for April, 2009

New Pitch Letter

April 10, 2009

I’m sick of hiding all my various skills and creating a bewildering array of resumes. I am good at many things. Is this a crime? Am I any more ADD than the people I see happily employed where ever I go?

I work on this stuff in my spare time because I’m _capable_. Yet this is seen like some kind of sin. I have stayed at a job for half a decade. I’d be at my current jobs right now if I didn’t cross half the country because for once in my jobs, I was actually happy.

I want to be happy again. I feel that if I am honest about what I want and what I can do, this will happen. If they know who I am this should be good right? Probably not. But that’s the magic of cold calling. Never saying you are sorry.

Pitch letter is below. Note, if you diss this letter, your comment will be deleted UNLESS you tell me precisely what to change and why this will help me get a job. If you do this, then you get a (virtual) cookie and/or hug, your choice. Thank-you for reading this.

BEGIN FANTASTIC PITCH

I am a highly capable worker who can improve productivity in nearly any area, saving money and increasing profits. I learn new fields while I am in a given position because it’s what I like to do. I prefer to stay in a given career for life. However, I will still continue to take classes and to learn because I feel that life long learning is important in a good employee. I believe that the best researchers are able to draw in relevant information from many fields and to synthesize it to create new hypotheses.

I am looking for a corporation to call home for life as I am a loyal employee. I’d be excited to stay in one area for life or to expanding with the company’s needs.

Here are the fields that I have mastered:

1.Chemistry BS
2.Biomedical research. 10 years experience
3.Computer programming. It it’s not COBOL, I know that language. I have software samples that can be downloaded. I have programmed a research instrument from scratch.
4.IT. OS installation. I have maintained research equipment, servers, and I have built web servers from scratch. I am fluent in all major networking protocols. I have given support on the desktop.
5.Writing. It’s my passion. I write daily. I have written manuals, and I have given presentations. I study grammar for fun.
6.Nursing. I have an active RN license. I would like a job that is more creative than the traditional nursing path. I have experience in critical care taking care of two patients. I have done phlebotomy, physical exams, vital signs, and everything else a critical care nurse needs to do.
7.Medial terminology. I have taken all the basic medical sciences. Again, I’d prefer a field that allows me to be more creative than medicine.
8.Administrative assistant. I have worked in an office, and I have excelled.

I have excellent references to attest that the above is true.

I am not looking to use all my skills. I am not looking to make a lot of money. I’d like to work with people who are passionate at their jobs as I am. I strive to be the best at everything that I do, and I am looking for a position that will allow me to focus on one of my strengths and to help create new products that are highly profitable. Despite my various interests, I don’t get bored easily as I practice mindfulness, and I am happy doing whatever is best for the position I have chosen.

END FANTASTIC PITCH

Price of Happiness

April 6, 2009

Back when I was in medical school, I was miserable for two years. Suddenly in a flash I realized that most people in the world were in fact not doctors and if they were miserable and inferior to the docs out there, they were doing a great job of hiding it.

I felt that there was a point where money was not so important and there was this thing called “happiness” that one must also pay attention to.

Now, years later, in front of me, I have the choice between a miserable job and no job at all. What do I choose? For now, I am going to try to get a job as a nurse. Hopefully. I might not even get a job in this field despite my perfect record, high grades, and license.

I was told that being out of work for over a year made one harder to hire. This fills me with a lot of anxiety as for this is the only game out there. Every other field I applied to NEVER EVEN GOT BACK TO ME save for a few positions in non-profit.

If I want a job, I’m going to have to go into something a bit more specialized. This is nursing for now. My question is that how much suffering does there have to be on a job?

When someone complains about a job being hard, people are skeptical. “It’s not that bad,” they say. And it’s not. It’s just my happiness. Small price to pay for a few bucks.

Things I See as Praiseworthy in Millenials

April 1, 2009

I am tired of reading about people complaining about the Millenial Generation.

Whenever, I actually meet these lovely people, they are so much different than their slanderous press.

True, they do have PDA’s grafted to their hands. But if I could take a computer more powerful than my C64 with me at all times, I would have. If I could connect with everyone in my class with the touch of a button, I would have. Who wants to be left out?

Are their text messages the new Shakespeare? I don’t know. Probably not in most cases. But was I any brighter when I was their age? No. A lot dumber and a lot of other bad things, too.

Here are the two things I would text if I were their age:

1. “She’s hot, right?”
2. “Eldrich the Dark Mage hits you with a psychic whip for 10 points of mental distress. Saving throw to avoid insanity.”

The Millenials I met had career counselors. What? I’m 35, and I’ve never spoken to a career counselor let alone had one go to my place of internship IN HIGH SCHOOL! My first job in high school was when I was a senior and it was McDonald’s.

These children are working in a lab. They will learn, long before wasting four years on a stupid major, that research sucks and go into something more practical like banking where even if you screw up, you win.

But one might argue that such initiative often comes from the parents not the children. You might say that children, who have been taken care of their whole life, don’t think any more about careers than an occasional game of doctor.

This leads to my second point that the Millenials have better parents. When it comes to getting a job, I _want_ my hand held. When my boss yells at me, I _want_ my parents to tell me that they will make it all better then actually do it. I _want_ to believe that I am the best and that the world revolves around me.

Look at the people in the world who grew up in this kind of delusion. They are now the business leaders of America. If they have some stupid theories about the next generation, they don’t need to sign up for a crappy, free blog service (no offense WordPress). They can give a lecture tour and people will pay them, hoping that their words of wisdom will somehow help make them rich, too.

If a part of a job sucks, they’ll complain till they get reassigned, refuse to do it as below their intelligence, or get a higher paying job that’s more fun. What’s wrong with that?

Oh, but one might argue that all this pampering makes for a self-centered, whiny, group of people who need to constantly tell themselves that their generation made a difference while the others were a bunch of apathetic automatons who live and die by corporate advertising.

Well, no. ProzacTM was not made for Millenials.I don’t believe they were even born when the chemists were twisting molecules into the shape of happy pills. ProzacTM had a huge market before the next generation. Why? I don’t know maybe because life sucks all around?

Don’t let the older generation to tell you how “soft” you are for taking a pill to make you feel better. Who’s the market for ViagraTM? Huh? Let’s get this straight, the notion of pills to make one feel better is an American thing not a generational weakness.

Why? Because these pills work.

I can’t think of another reason why people hate Millenials. If someone can send me something then I’ll write “Things I See as Praiseworthy in Millenials” part II.

Overall, they are as kind, sweet, and selfish, and mean, and all the other things ever other group of humans is. Thing is that they have some edges in careers, and I want in.